Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Even Angels Cry
In the darkness of the night
In the emptyness and tears
The dark seems to overtake me
Although the day's light is near.
The dark side of my existance
... seems to over cast my soul
The fallen state of Joy
The everlasting fight
Suddenly I realize
an outcast's pain
will never die.

I wonder why it is Ravens en-circle one who is crying.  I had this happen to
me once.  I was so desparatly sad that I went out in the hills sobbing when
suddenly several Ravens were en-circling above me.     I can't fb my true feelings,
my pain, the never ending pain of rejection that I struggle with.  Living here
in the canyonlands being alone so much of the time and people not wanting me in
their life has caused a darkness in me that I feel to be slowly losing the battle of
trying and getting up and getting up just to be pushed again.  I get so discouraged
and despite the darkness in the picture it is how I feel most of the time inside anymore.
I truly try.  I pray and pray and pray I get lost in ministry and try to forget myself,
but somehow when the night time comes, there I am, I am still there with the sadness
and emptyness that just will not go away.  Please Dear God, where are you?